Daddy Matters A Lot to His Girls

Carol (not her real name) grew up as a young girl who always yearn for her father’s love. She will do anything to get her father’s attention and praise. But unfortunately, she didn’t get them a lot in her childhood.

Her father always spent his time watching TV when he got back from work. He never asked how she spent her day at home and seldom talked with her. And so…she grew up believing that her father did not love and care for her.

However, she never stopped trying to get her father’s attention. And soon enough she then learnt that her father will laughed at her when she did silly things, being playful and coquettish in front of him. And so…she did that a lot to get her father’s attention – for few seconds at least.

The problem then started when she grew into a teenager. Unconsciously, she talked and relate to all her male friends the way she acted in front of her Dad. She was flirtatious towards them and always try to get their approval and attention, which she never got from her father during her childhood.

There is a place in female soul reserved for fathers that will always yearn for affirmation, which unfortunately can’t be filled by mothers. I am not saying that mother’s role is not as important as father’s, they are just different.

H. Norman Wright wrote to his female reader in his book Always Daddy’s Girl, “Your relationship with your father was your critical initial interaction with the masculine gender. He was the first man whose attention you wanted to gain. He was the first man you flirted with, the first man to cuddle you and kiss you, the first man to prize you as a very special girl among all other girls. All of these experiences with your father were vital to the nurturing of the element which makes you different from him and all other men; your femininity. The fawning attention of a father for his daughter prepares her for her uniquely feminine role as a girlfriend, fiancee, and wife. 

If there was something lacking in your relationship with your father when you were a child, the development of your femininity suffered the most. Why? As a little girl, you by nature expressed all the budding traits of the feminine gender. If your father was emotionally or physically absent, or was harsh, rejecting or angry toward you, you automatically and subconsciously attached his disapproval to your femininity. You didn’t have the intellectual capacity to understand his rejection, nor did you have the inner defensive structure to insulate yourself against it. You simply and naively reasoned, “I want Daddy to like me; Daddy doesn’t like me this way I am; I will change the way I am so Daddy will like me.”

When a father does not value or respond to his daughter’s femininity, she is stunted in her development. When a daughter has little experience in delighting her father as a child, she is incomplete. She is left to discover her femininity for herself, often with tragic results in her relationships with men.” 

I believe that all fathers want to be a good father for their children, but sometimes the pressure of work and pace of living just make it difficult for them to remember what really matters in their lives. It happens to many of us. But it is never too late to get started and connected with the girls =)

Few tips for the daddies:

  1. Talk.
    All girls and women like to talk. When father talks to his daughter and ask her about anything, she knows that her father cares and love her. I know, this might sound weird for your male’s brain. But…just talk =P
  2. Touch.
    Girls like to be hugged, carried, and cuddled. They feel secure and protected when their fathers hold them. And honestly, I still feel good when my Dad give me a pad on my shoulder =)
  3. Time.
    Girls feel special when their fathers spend time with them. Go for a one-to-one date with them when it is possible. Bring them out, eat at their favorite food stall, and enjoy ice cream together. It will definitely be memorable for them.
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